Breathe . . . Just Breathe (Living and working together with your loved one!)

"Sometimes the most important thing in a day is the rest we take between two deep breaths"

Sometimes we can let our stresses and challenges really effect us, and we all know that's not good for our physical or mental health - nor the health of those around us.  For Dewey and I, sometimes it seems like we live in a state of emergency.   We have a lot going on and its a delicate balance.  When our stresses reach critical mass, we both have learned techniques to calm ourselves personally but also we've learned how to help each other.  Unlike many couples our stresses are identical from the family to the work to the self - and we both reach critical mass right in line with each other.   We live, breathe, eat and sleep the same dynamics of each day side by side.

We hold our morning meeting in our pajamas, over coffee on the porch.   Planning, reminding, brainstorming, debating.  Then Dewey heads out to makes things pretty in our customers homes, while I head to the store to share more things pretty for our customers to take to their homes.  We are apart for 5 or 6 hours, but together again in the early afternoon, and keep going until its done. Then we go home together.  We have our evening recap meeting while I cook and clean up.  And then we start again.  In our world, work comes home.  It goes in the car with us, it goes to bed with us.

This is a blessing, truly it is - but before we learned how to cope with each others different personality types under the critical mass of stress - it was sometimes more of a battlefield.   And once either of us enters the battlefield it becomes quite, well, ugly.

For example, Dewey knows that when I become overwhelmed I tend to shut down - I don't want to talk to anyone, I run around with a squinty look on my face and I can't seem to accomplish something as simple as loading the dishwasher through to completion - never mind run two businesses and a household.      He calls it going to the dark-side.  He'll say to me, "Baby, I can see you going to the dark side.  Stay with me . . .".  LOL.

Dewey, on the other hand, does not stop talking.  It's like hitting repeat on the Ipod.  Same song over and over from sun-up to sun-down.  He's trying to relinquish all the negativity in his body to relieve the pressure..  To help him, I just need to let it repeat as long as he needs (not absorbing it, mind you!). Adding my two cents isn't what he's looking for.  Nodding and um-humming as appropriate are whats needed.

So, he pulls me out of my stress and forces me to be human with little jokes and silly songs.  I pull him out of his by letting him blither for hours, and with lots of food.

And not comfort food (well, maybe a little bit).  Besides recognizing stress and taking time off from it for a while each day (which is a Must-Do), there are foods we can eat that help us de-stress.

• Fish.  Even better - SUSHI!  Magnesium, pantothenic acid, all those B Vitamins. . . Oh My!

• Rice and Pasta (whole grain).  Yep.  Good and good for you.  These complex carbs boost your serotonin levels and keep you full.   So, you're essentially feeling fat and happy.  Woot! 

• Broccoli.  Oh yeah.  More of those B Vitamins and Folic Acid.  Steam it up and manga!

• Blueberries. Full of antioxidants and Vitamin C.   Plain.  In milk.  In cottage cheese.  Any of these combos eat up your stress.  

There you have it.  Our favorite stress-eating meal, prepared during our evening meeting.  By the time we hit the hay, we feel strong, calm and confident enough to get up and do it all again in the morning.

PL&BB (Vitamin B, that is!)

Penni